Why we suffer

There exists a mental state I’ll call “suffering,” which is caused by clinging to ideas about the way things should-have-been, might-be, or will-someday-be. By practicing techniques that others have figured out, we can learn to let go of this clinging and release the associated suffering.  


There is no magic to this, but there are some things to watch out for which can help you figure out what is causing suffering at any given moment.


First, ask yourself if the idea comes from an observable fact, or if it’s something you made up, or something someone else made up. Sometimes made-up things help us predict the future, but many times we’re wrong.  Recognizing the difference is what’s important here.  Don’t believe everything you think. 


Next consider how this idea is presenting itself to you.  Are you being honest with yourself when you think about it? Are you being honest when you talk about it with others?   Pay attention. 


When you think about it, are you doing so with intention and focus? Or are you letting the idea roll around in your head with no guidance?  Unguided ideas are rascally, and they’ll steal your cheese when you’re not looking. 


When you choose to act on an idea, are your actions aligned with your intentions and morals, or are you doing something to compromise your integrity?  Are you trying hard or are you being lazy or distracted?  Are you doing nothing and pretending that’s ok? Have you made a bad habit, or are you being diligent?  Be honest, I won’t tell anyone.


Is this real? Is this now? Can you do something about it NOW?  If so, do!  If not, consider whether you’ve let your mind run astray.  


We often get caught in thought-loops about the past or future, and one way to trick our brains out of these is to focus on something that is always in the here and now.  Many things work for this, but one is to close your eyes, slow your body down and just feel yourself breathe for a few seconds.  It’s better if you can do it for a few more seconds after that. Then a few more, since there’s no reason you need to be doing anything else at this moment.  If a thought tells you otherwise it’s probably lying.  If it’s not lying, for example if you’re in the process of driving, you probably should open your eyes.  Otherwise just breathe and nothing else.  Maybe sit too. Just sit and breathe. Just.


With practice you’ll get better at letting your body relax and breathe without trying to force anything.  It’s ok to be bad at it.  If it were easy we wouldn’t need to practice. It gets easier, but it never gets easy.  You’re not broken.  Breathe.  Yes, I mean now.
This practice of stopping for these few seconds teaches us to let go of ideas just long enough to see them from outside themselves, and figure out the answers to the questions above.  It brings us to the present moment, where the past and future don’t exist.  Only ideas of them do.  Pay attention.


This is how we hack our brains.


H