Kill. Ing. It.
I had my big client meeting today, after months of preparation. Our last one wasn’t good, but this one went well largely due to hard work by our team. I knew I was going to present the slides, but what I didn’t fully anticipate was the size of the audience. I’m generally ok in small groups but I get really nervous if I feel like I’m “on stage” or even thinking about being there.
So, there I was in the gaping maw of the 40 person conference desk, in front of giant screens with slides I’d revised twenty times clutching a microphone to my chest and trying to act like I’ve done any of it before. I did an internal dry run last Friday and it was awkward and horrible. And I was nervous as hell.
Just before I walked up though I pondered what my chances were of being eaten by a puma, and decided I’d be ok.
And I was. [Spoiler: not puma-eaten]
Sure I was still nervous and my voice wavered a couple times, and when I handed off the microphone it was a slippery mess, but I did it anyway. I answered some questions, dealt with some curve balls and when I sat down our company was in a far better position than when I had started. Great success.
Afterwards one of the client’s engineers asked me for some time. He said I’d been recommended, and asked if I could work my magic on his team too. We sat down in front of our screens and hashed out a couple of problems, and he went home feeling like we are on the right track. Another huge win.
At the moment I’m doing my nudist Mr. Rogers routine in the hotel, taking a break from my clothes before I head out to dinner. I don’t have a sweater to change into, but the mindset is the same I think. A fabrical gear shift, a reset of the mind, a leaving behind of the past, a rebirth into a new moment. I don’t ascribe to the mechanics of reincarnation, in the traditional sense, but I’m fully in board with the idea of rebirth into opportunity. Each day, and indeed each moment is a chance to decide again who we would be, so that we may do what we must to get there. To construct ourselves intentionally. To become by deciding to be. To make, with effort often, a new organism unbound by prior definitions. To be someone who is pretty OK at presenting to a group, and didn’t even drop the microphone once. Try changing your socks.
Off to find calories to keep my brain meat running.
H